I’ve spent 25 years leading teams through incredibly tough situations — advising the Commanding General in Iraq during intense combat operations, guiding the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs through some of the most turbulent moments of our time, and taking a front-row seat to countless high-stakes leadership decisions.

But the most important lessons I’ve learned didn’t come from the high-stakes, dramatic moments. They came from the ordinary days, when I had to get real with myself, my teams, and what was quietly getting in our way.

I realized early on that ignoring emotional undercurrents in our organizations: unspoken frustrations, silent resistance, and hesitations not shared—left me managing surface-level symptoms instead of solving what was really going on.

So, I chose to keep leaning in, to say what others wouldn’t, to listen deeply even when it was hard, and to let people see the human behind the rank. And guess what? It changed everything. My teams didn’t just perform better, they became closer, more committed, and genuinely connected. Leaders often hesitate to step into these messy, uncertain spaces, and I was no different. But every time I chose courage over comfort, my team grew stronger.

Leadership isn’t just about strategy or tactics. It’s about having the courage to confront the uncomfortable, to see what others miss, and to act when others hold back. It’s about noticing subtle signs early, addressing them head-on, and modeling the bravery you want to see in your teams.

Interested to learn more? Visit DeDe’s website here.